if u sit and study a research subject for 4 days then you definitely will tend to dream and imagine things that just don't exist.

you will very much create things in your mind that have no relation to reality.

i am beating around athe same bush because that is what is done in all 12 ppts.

 

I drive My fav in d nyt...I ride wid passion as the darkness fades wid moon light.

I dunno wat makes me d bird of nyt...but m high on ma innocence thus i cant help but kill other's right.

I dissolve myself in d wildest fantasies dat i wud disapprove in d morning light.

I help ma paralysed self On others support while i make promises that are forgotten as the world turns white.

I aint sayin that am sick, i aint saying that am gone, I am just a loner trying to hide from this world that i fear your seapration.

 

 

i wanted to write u a letter before i left for dis vacation. i had left som post it here n there to make me remind dat  have to write u.

i wanted to write in all those things that i missed to convey u that last night.

i had dis hope with the letter that i was to write.

i wished a new blessing for me wid dis letter that i cudnt write.

i just thot that the law of attraction wud sent things right with this letter that i wished to write.

i never imagined that the world wud run short of pen and paper for this letter that i wanted to write.

loll...

I wish that sm1 (sm1) reads dis n dun try makin sense outta dis 4 gads sayk!!

 

ummmuaah such a cuto.

if luv was by choice then how u became ma destiny.

if luv wasnt by choice then how u made me ur destiny.

if luv wasnt selfish then how u left me for ur priorities.

if luv was selfish then how i let you go for your priorities.

if love never ends then y u called it off.

if luv ends then y cant i do it.

destinies are not drawn by an individuals choice

priprities just cant be a barrier in any love.

and nothing comes to an end it just transforms into somthing new.

i wud have let u go on ma own if only i had learned to accept ugly realities

Story of my life
Searching for the right
But it keeps avoiding me
Sorrow in my soul
Cuz it seems that wrong
Really loves my company

He's more than a man
And this is more than love
The reason that this sky is blue
But clouds are rolling in
Because I'm gone again
And to him I just can't be true

And I know that he knows I'm unfaithful
And it kills him inside
To know that I am happy with some other guy
I can see him dyin'

I don't wanna do this anymore
I don't wanna be the reason why
Every time I walk out the door
I see him die a little more inside
I don't wanna hurt him anymore
I don't wanna take away his life
I don't wanna be...A murderer

I feel it in the air
As I'm doin' my hair
Preparing for another date
A kiss up on my cheek
As he reluctantly
As if I'm gonna be out late
I say I won't be long
Just hanging with the girls
A lie I didn't have to tell
Because we both know
Where I'm about to go
And we know it very well

Cause I know that he knows I'm unfaithful
And it kills him inside
To know that I am happy with some other guy
I can see him dying

I don't wanna do this anymore
I don't wanna be the reason why
Everytime I walk out the door
I see him die a little more inside
I don't wanna hurt him anymore
I don't wanna take away his life
I don't wanna be...a murderer

Our Love...his trust
I might as well take a gun and put it to his head
Get it over with
I don't wanna do this anymore ...whoah..anymore

I don't wanna do this anymore
I don't wanna be the reason why
Everytime I walk out the door
I see him die a little more inside
I don't wanna hurt him anymore
I don't wanna take away his life
I don't wanna be...a murderer... a murderer... no no no yeah yeah yeah..

it was like a cool nyt in the blue lyt while i was walkin wid ma frends and thinking of dat special sm1 whose now dead.

it takes only a thot of you to to brighten my smile.

i never stand apart wen it comes to brag about you.

i never squeeze to do anything for you.

i am glad to be taken care by you...everytime i have a sorrow i just have to think of you and am all outta it.

My happiness are never complete widout sharing them wid u...and you make me feel that i am so priviledged.

and i always wanted to tell you that you are ma divine gift.

i kno that u kno but still this is to freeze ma wrds in here so they never fly away and you have a proof to help my memory wen m lost again.

ps : i love you

this is the only thing that dosent leave ma side

m handicap for this time to write..

 

 

when my blind eyes suffocated my soul, it was the taste on ur tongue that colored my darkness.

i was lost in vastness of insanity while i was half grown, it was your sanity that held my spirit.

i was dying with too much love that i could feel in the books but not in my life, it was you who added reality in me.

I was dependent on you, I was living cause of you, I was trying for you; while your soul was knocking the doors of heaven and your breaths shouting for freedom.

it was a sexy night

she is a sexy bride

i dinno how long i wanted to ride

but i knew i had her forever to make me bright

with her i flew higher than the high

in the high i felt her vibrations like a vibe

I dreamt her in the light

My passion for her grew with every sight

Since that night she is my flight

She ribs when I stand with other bikes

No human can create a better love than my sexy bride.

(she here is the motorbike, ‘the ’; because its special…personified)

It was when I met you that I felt the warmth of the cold mind,

It was when I met you that I felt the thunder that caressed a swollen guilt,

It was when I met you that I realized the depth a small eye ball could hold,

It was when I met you that I realized the charm silence could hold,

It was when I met you that I smelled the fragrance buried in a human heart when loss was bound,

It was when I met you that I smelled the taste of naked purity when indifference was sound,

It was when I met you I saw how far the goodness of actions could spread,

It was when I met you that I saw how close god lived to the human soul,

my life was enchanted when I looked in the mirror and I found you.

Every human has its own ideologies. Some learned from people whom we admire, some learned from life experiences and others inserted by practicing of preachings of parents, teachers and religion. But the most focused a human is on those ideologies which he or she admires in his/her  idol. Because those principles are liked by that individual and consequently is in the ‘want to be’ category. And as human we are more focused on our desires then what others desire for us.

Recently I overheard a friend talking to another in the restrooms. She said she dint belive in reading other people’s ideologies because she had of her own and she dint require to know other’s because she desire to live on the basis of hers and don’t care whatever other people’s beliefs were. Before sayin this she said “ I cudnt live with my family anylonger, cause they thought different and so this suffocated me. I want to live just the way I thought was right for me.”

I got a sudden shock of sort when I heard these words of her. I was able to relate when I heard the later thought of hers on ideologies of her own. Firstly when she said she was suffocated with her family, I wanted to go and tell her how important the family is in one’s life and blah blah because I don’t live with my family thus I know how hard it is attimes without them. But after her thought about her own ideologies I realised that yes how important it was to let one nurture his/herself in his/her own ideologies.

I am living alone and I have freedom to live with my principles. I am never forced with others way of thoughts thus I respect other’s principles and am never being suffocated. I belive in my parent’s thoughts and so when am with them I don’t mind practicing their beliefs with them for that little while. Infact, I feel pleasure in it. That’s because I never had my parents overpowering my thoughts. And that’s again because we did not live together to think about each others daily practices.

So its only when the principles that we adopt from our idols, we just don’t like to be told ‘no’ for practicing them. And  ideologies are never good or bad in one’s own context for one’s ownself. But for others they might be and will be either good or bad , so they would want to alter. Thus to practice your principles  you need your own space to practice.

 

When I see ma pal online I am damn excited  sometimes, glad most of the times and attimes I feel ‘o no, now even this assignment is not gona b completed’.

 What is with this online chatting? So many years have passed but there is no change in my behavior towards online chatting. Whoever it be on the other side of the screen, I am always the same. People with varied psychologies and attitudes became my best of buddies and disappeared like they never existed. When I say disappear I mean both that either I blocked them or I irritated them to the limits that they blocked me. Whatever  way the effect of the action was same. But I never understood why is the frequency of online chatting so high in my desire list. I get disappointed, distracted and even lost from my real life goals; just because of those online pals whom I did not even know in actuality. Even then I never banned this knack.

I never ate those choclates again which I didn’t like certainly I never stopped eating choclates for that sake. Similarly I never chatted again with those pals whom I didn’t like but I certainly wished to get rid of this knack of chatting. But I never did.

I am aggressive in some cases when I want to chat with someone and the other person don’t respond; I do the worst of things ending up  implying negative image of mine on others. Well all this is like contemporary history (because of the recent my old ID don’t exists for very dumb reasons and therfore with this new ID I don’t have many pals to irritate myself or them). Still that knack of chatting exists.

I observed that I tend to keep online and keep chatting only when I have no other intresting work to do. So this online chatting is not on its higehst frequency on my desires list but rather on the lowest. And in case there is no other desire, it is only this option that my soul is left with. And with this realisation I realised that I should not harass myself all the time saying that I spent time only on the worthless habbits. I should and would rather employ some more intresting jobs to my list to allow variety in times of joblessness.

"marriage is a constitution where by we bring in another object(person) that has magnetic power which he/ she uses to influence our thought frequency and that influence is always overpowering and interupting in every manner to alter our frequency." by Arwa Dalal